Week two, day one.
I had yoghurt and granola for breakfast, and sweet potato salad for lunch. I feasted on popcorn and a banana when the going got tough around 4.46pm, then I went home and had another ‘school dinner’, consisting of vegan sausages, waffles and spaghetti hoops. I had to explain to my boyfriend what a school dinner means when you are an adult… surely everyone knows it means processed meat, some form of hard mash (usually in the shape of a smiley face, or the alphabet, which you can spell rude words with if you’re lucky) and beans or peas.
Anyhow it tasted mesmerising. Big props to Linda Mac with her red onion and rosemary sausages, which, by the way, is high in protein, low in fat, and only 66 calories per banger.
I also attempted working out tonight, and I don’t know if it was because Essex has been a bit muggy lately (and by muggy I don’t mean the Essex definition of being a twat), or if it’s my lack of protein, but I really struggled to physically move my body for the cardio element of the workout. I’m hoping a good nights’ sleep is what I need.
Week two, day two.
Back on the cherry yoghurt and granola train this morning, here is a picture of said breakfast with my tea to remind you all what a basic Betty I am.
Before I started working in London I promised myself I wouldn’t be one of those city workers who forked out daily for their caffeine fix, but alas, I see myself simpering to the barista daily for my ‘Oriental Senchai tea please, yes that is a large, thanks’.
I also pay £1.30 a cup for the privilege. Ludicrous! I need to stop this at once. That’s like (hang on)
£299 a year.
Oh god. £300 on tea and cardboard. Think of all the Veggie Percy Pigs I could buy with £300!?
Back to the Twining’s 2 for 1 at Tesco it is.
Anyway, I was excited to document today’s post, because for the first time in my life I ate at a restaurant as a vegan! I went to Searcys, a rather swish restaurant at St Pancras station for a work event, and I was pleasantly surprised with my three courses.
I had a grapefruit, quinoa and pomegranate salad to start. Which was a cute balance of savoury and sweet that I was initially dubious about.. given I have a problem with pineapple on pizzas, meat in pancakes, and don’t get me started on olives pretending to look like grapes but tasting like dirt..
The main was risotto, I’ll let you guess just like I had to what the main ingredient was. It was really nice, albeit a bit carb heavy. I think my stomach has shrunk- I couldn’t finish it. I finish all meals, especially free ones. What a waste 🙁
The dessert was a trio of sorbet. One of them was chocolate flavoured. I genuinely thought I’d broken my diet by eating the chocolate one, but I saw a dairy-intolerant person eating the same dessert and figured the restaurant wouldn’t try to kill them by serving dairy, so I hoofed it down as elegantly as one could in the company of colleagues.
I will be totally honest with you. I did get McDonalds chips for the 1am train home. I didn’t need them, I wasn’t remotely hungry, I’d had a three course meal and it was past my bedtime, but I’m not going to apologise to my waistline because, chips.
Week two, day three.
I was working from home again today. After getting home at 2am, I was up early to work out before the working day began. I’m basically Gwyneth Paltrow, but without the weird neck veins or the overpowering sense of self-importance.
I was still absolutely shattered, but I managed a full hour of exercise this time. Nice to know I spent it working off the chips I had, rather than focusing on mad gains. I did a lot of glute exercises, maybe tomorrow I’ll wake up with toned buns and look like JLo.
I had peanut butter on toast for breakfast, then kale crisps and a yoghurt for lunch. I may as well have ended up in Narnia after the depths I went to in the food cupboard looking for a snack.
The reason I didn’t have lunch was because for dinner, I had PIZZA.
I bought pizza bases, smothered them in BBQ sauce, red onion, jalapenos, mushroom, red pepper and sweetcorn, and then I grated violife vegan cheese over the top.
10 minutes into cooking time, I see my boyfriend’s pizza looking all goopy and lovely with its melted cheese hugging the pepperoni, and well mine, curling up at the edges, totally avoiding the BBQ sauce.
If its Friday night and I don’t have an edible pizza I will literally lose my shit.
I start making back up plans, and wondering if I can go to the chip shop in my pyjamas or if I will have to get dressed again. Luckily, after waiting for what felt like a decade, the cheese melted. I have to say, I was VERY sceptical about this meal. But it actually tasted good- what on earth is this fake cheese made of to make it taste so cheesy?!
My boyfriend teased me, saying I didn’t know what I was eating, and that the cheese was processed. Says he, eating fermented tit milk from a cow.
OK maybe being vegan does mean you turn in to Gwyneth Paltrow. Bugger.
Anyone else think the Peaky Blinders finale was a bit of a let-down? I do love an angry Tom Hardy though.
Week two, day four.
Without boring you to tears with repetitive meals, the only thing you need to know about today is that I made donuts.
They were really, really easy to make, too. I used plain flour, baking powder, caster sugar, almond milk, vegan butter and vegetable oil. I was pleasantly surprised how similar they taste to regular donuts. I rolled them in a bowl of cinnamon and caster sugar to coat them nicely.
They were the perfect temporary pick me up considering my energy levels are through the floor.
I definitely need to get more protein in my diet.
I also worked out again. My ass hurts from yesterday’s workout. I regret to inform you that I still do not have a bum like JLo. Sad times.
Week two, day five.
Informing you all that I did a cardio workout today, because this experiment wouldn’t be fair if I end up looking like Gigi Hadid at the end, and you all thought it was down to the fact I’ve turned into a herbivore.
I was at my parents’ house today, and had a really healthy diet of scotch whiskey and coke for lunch, soaked up by root vegetable crisps and pistachio nuts, followed by a roast dinner with the Linda McCartney sausages again. Roast dinners don’t taste quite the same without Yorkshire puddings and cauliflower cheese.
Week two, day six.
Damn Jodie, back at it with the granola and yoghurt.
Lunch was salad, with falafel from M&S.
After reading up on how to get more protein in my diet, I bought a bag of pistachio nuts. I had to hide them in a drawer because omg I need them all in my mouth at once. Surely eating a whole bag means I’ll have loads of energy, right?
I went round one of my best friends’ for dinner, as I am a bridesmaid and we were all trying on our dresses. My friend is practically a vegetarian, and made lentil Bolognese with pasta for dinner.
It was delish. I really struggle eating dinner when I have somewhere to go straight from work, so I was incredibly grateful to have a vegan meal to come back to.
Week two, day seven.
I’ve almost made it a fortnight without meat, eggs or dairy!
I was feeling a bit under the weather today, so I skipped breakfast.
Why is it when you skip breakfast, your relatives think you’re some kind of irresponsible adult? My granddad looks at me with disgust if I say I haven’t had breakfast, and my mum is forever banging on about breakfast being the most important part of the day. Which is totally hilarious, given that she never eats breakfast, lives on a diet of Malteasers and coca cola, and remains in size six clothes.
By hilarious, I mean utterly depressing. Why couldn’t I inherit her metabolism?
I had these weird, quinoa and sweetcorn ball thingys for lunch with salad. I was initially excited about buying them, but they tasted like sweetcorn frittas. Maybe that’s what they are.. but I think I’ve been eating too much falafel lately, that no other edible balls will quite compare.
I had a Thai soup for dinner, which is really easy to make if you are in a world of pain. It is literally curry paste, vegetable broth, and coconut milk. I guessed the portions, but I’d say add more broth than milk for a ‘brothy’ consistency. (Any potential book publishers want to sign me up now for a cookbook, plz contact my agent).
Just add any veg you want, I added fresh chilli, mushrooms, baby corn and peppers, along with rice noodles. If you want to make it pretty, add some cilantro or coriander and some red sliced chilli. That way your dinner will look pretty, rather than goopy pink water like mine..
I was asleep mega early. Could be lack of energy again, or the fact I am ill.
Did I mention I was ill already? Please send water bottles, or a cuddle. Thanks.
Overview of week 2
After the initial week of feeling like superwoman, week two is starting to take its toll. Considering I can survive on 5 hours’ sleep a night and still hop around like a baby lamb in a sunny meadow the next day, I now spend my days feeling like squirrel who forgot winter was coming and is frantically trying to forage and bury her nuts before taking an inevitable extended slumber.
I am however, losing weight.
I now only look three months pregnant, as opposed to five months. I could probably get down to two months if I stopped drinking alcohol altogether, but let’s all laugh at that ludicrous notion.
So yeah, I am less bloated. I can almost see my feet in the shower (if I stand up straight and close one eye). I have ordered a dress tape measure, because I measured myself at the start of the experiment with my boyfriend’s tape measure, you know one of the manly ones that belong in a toolbox, rather than a sewing kit? Well I’m convinced you don’t get a good enough circumference with those things… (Surely my hips aren’t 38 inches, it must be the measure’s fault..)
I am also finding that my skin is a lot clearer, I bet that is down to the amount of water I am drinking, and the lack of chocolate and cheese I am eating.
I wish there was an app to tell me how many animals I have saved, you know, like when people give up smoking and the app is all encouraging like ‘oh well done you, that’s half a capillary you’ve restored this week- keep it up!’
Maybe I can invent it and become a millionaire. Don’t steal my idea. Please.
Thank you for reading, I would really love your feedback, even if it’s just to notify me of a spelling mistake.