Week one of being a vegan.

Day one – Wednesday.

I woke up this morning with a naïve sense of optimism. In the backpack went the organic peanut butter, chopped fruit, and the quinoa, carrot and chickpea salad. I got to work and enjoyed two carb-tastic slices of peanut butter on toast and went about my day feeling like I got dis.

By lunchtime I no got dis. The salad was OK. Cold-cooked carrots in a salad just tastes a bit odd. The chickpeas and keen-wah was a nice touch, but I definitely need to ramp things up a bit.

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My plan was to have mushroom risotto for dinner, but after realising I don’t have 5 cups worth of vegetable broth hanging out in the cupboard (and stopping off at a supermarket after a 90 minute train journey was out of the question), I resorted to jacket potato with vegan butter and spaghetti hoops. It was surprisingly comforting, especially whilst hidden under a blanket on the sofa watching ‘Once Upon a Time’. A bad day is always made better with carbs and Disney.

Oh I also had an Alpro yoghurt (cherry flavour, FYI) to take my mind off the massive box of Malteasers Tim bought me the day before. The yoghurt tastes exactly like a moo-cow yoghurt, so I think this may be my quick fix snack.

I then attempted to make katsu tofu to put in wraps for lunch on day two. Tim again did not look so keen, having seen the tofu sitting on the kitchen counter in its compressed state. I was hopeful; the pictures on Pinterest made the tofu bites look like heavenly little golden crumby bites of goodness.
The reality, was in fact they tasted like soggy soy tampons coated in breadcrumbs. I recently learned that chickpea water (aquafaba) can be used as a substitute for eggs, which is what I used to bind the tampon lumps to the breadcrumbs, but it turns out chickpea water smells like cat poo. Our poor cats got the blame for the smell, and we were running around the house trying to work out where the smell of shit was coming from before realising it was my lunch. Lovely.
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They were binned immediately, but not before taking some pictures at them in a bid to make my blog look more glossy…

Day two – Thursday

It occurs to me that yesterday was the first time in a long time I didn’t consume my body weight in sugar. I don’t have the sugar shakes just yet. Normally when I diet (air quotation marks necessary), I find most healthy processed foods such as cereal bars have enough sugar to take down a molar or three..

Again I have toast and peanut butter. My lack of lunch saw me wandering around the canteen aimlessly at 2.30pm when I finally gave in to hunger
, and to my luck I remembered that you can have freshly made salads. The condiment hater that I am did a little twirl inside, as this means I can dictate, instruct politely ask for a salad without dressing. I had falafel, quinoa and edamame as my ‘extra’ items. I also opted for red onion as a sneaky addition. I wouldn’t normally go for red onion because that would be awfully rude…. If I had any meetings that afternoon. This chick didn’t so I ate the oniony goodness without judgement from others.

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I had yoghurt and grapes when I felt peckish, but the toast was enough to keep me satiated all the way through until 2.30pm, so go me. You should be proud of me; we had afternoon tea in the office to say ta-ra to one of the Managers who is about to venture off to have a small human, which I avoided like the plague (the tea and cake, not the Manager..) Do you know how hard it is to resist free cake? Especially when there is enough left over to send me in to a coma.

I didn’t choose the thug life…

Again I left work with the intentions to tackle this mushroom risotto, but I opted for Quorn’s spicy bean burgers with mash and veg. I have to say, the garlic and kale mash was a particular winner.. like see.

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Day three. Friday

I worked from home today, and only ate toast with peanut butter for breakfast, and a yoghurt in the afternoon. I had a friend over at lunch and we did a cardio and butt workout, so get me being all sporty and what-not. Post workout, I made some kale crisps, which if you like salty, irony flavours in and around your mouth- then this one is for you.

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For dinner I made fajitas for me and my significant other, his stuffed with chicken, and mine stuffed with mushrooms, onions, peppers and vegan cheese. We were out of our usual spicy fajita seasoning so I improvised and used a Chinese BBQ stir fry sauce. It was below average if I’m honest, and I only ate 1.5 fajitas instead of my usual three. I actually gave up halfway through a fajita… IMG_1572

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I’m definitely going to lose weight by the end of this month.

I got a bit stroppy after dinner; although I wasn’t especially hungry I was craving a Friday night treat, so Tim and I got our hoodies and trainers on and bowled down to ASDA to scour the confectionery aisle. Turns out Starburst and Skittles are vegan- so I purchased the latter, along with peaches and Prosecco and set off home to be awfully middle class.

I blended the peaches with lemon juice and put them in the glasses before adding Prosecco. It tasted like fizzy wine with tiny lumps of vomit in. Why can’t ASDA be more upmarket and stock peach puree?

(Is it really bad that I ran the lumpy concoction through a sieve and drank the alcohol from the bowl? You can’t waste alcohol!!)


Day four – Saturday

I’ll be honest, I’m now feeling like I’d sell my granddad for a Twix.

Speaking of my granddad, I met him in town to go for a jacket potato in good old Marks and Spencer. It may sound odd, but ever since my nan passed away I like to keep up his and nan’s ritual of a spud in sparks. Given that my granddad by trade was a butcher, poisons any snail that slithers near his lettuce patch, and is currently trying to sell an air rifle after unsuccessfully shooting the wood pigeons in his back garden, you can understand my apprehension about telling him I’m currently a vegan. (Carlsberg don’t make granddads, but if they did…)

I told granddad that I was simply on a diet, and didn’t want any cheese or butter on my potato, and also could I have a green tea instead of a normal tea, please?

I wish I had bought some vegan butter with me. Oh! I found out that Pizza Express do vegan pizzas, but they don’t do vegan cheese, however you are able to take your own cheese if you wish. Just a bit of food for thought right there…

I also got offered a free milkshake. Gaaahh.

I went to Holland and Barrett and pretended not to be fazed by the price of coconut oil. I snapped up some black quinoa (the bland stuff from Asda wasn’t quite cutting the mustard), and some lentils because I’m a legit hippie now.

My vegan diet took a turn for the better today- I made a Thai coconut curry with sweet potato and sticky rice that is absolutely going to be a staple meal for me going forward- even meat eating boyfriend enjoyed it, hashtag yay.

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Day five – Sunday

I made pancakes yo.

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They were delicious! They probably took me an additional five minutes to make than regular pancakes- but I was so happy to eat something sweet again I did not give a flip. I drizzled them with maple syrup and sugar and berries, but you could opt for a sugar and lemon combo, or nutella, or even the biscuit spread that I hear are vegan.
Clearly I am now on a roll, and feeling like Nigella (minus the boobs), I set aside my Sunday afternoon to do some bulk cooking/prepping. I made more sweet potato Thai curry for the week ahead, salads for work, and also dinner; which consisted of Quorn spicy bean burgers, sweet potato wedges, salad and corn on the cob. Quite a plain dinner ,but it was a sunny day, and apart from the batch cooking we had been holed up indoors all day chained to our computers (I still can’t work out how to link Instagram to WordPress. FML), so despite it being windy we forced ourselves to sit on our unused garden furniture and eat our salad as the sun set.

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Day six – Monday.

I had fruit for breakfast because I forgot to bring in my peanut butter for toast, and also forgot to bring in my Alpro yoghurts and granola. Its amazing; I work in London, right near trendy Shoreditch, home to pretentious hipsters, and therefore filled with vegan hotspots, yet my day goes like this:

Commute to London > Work > Commute home from London.

I don’t leave my desk for lunch, and after two years my colleagues have given up trying to lure me into the polluted fresh air on the lunching hour. We have a canteen luckily, but their vegetarian option is basically halloumi or forget it.

I had my pre-prepared salad with the crispy/spicy bean burgers. Reports from back in Southend from the better half were enthusiastic: ‘Are they supposed to be chicken? They taste good. Spicy’.

5/10 for noticing the spice dear, but they are supposed to taste like beans.

Dinner was curry, as I was lazy and had a mentally draining day at work.

Day seven – Tuesday

I had fruit again for breakfast, and a falafel wrap from the canteen! (They clearly read yesterday’s post, did they not? cue smug face). I am ashamed to say I had nothing for dinner, as I rushed out to the cinema with a friend. I had a chocolate orange Nakd bar, which tasted like heaven after a week of snacking on fruit. It took all my might not to swing by McDonalds on the way home for a portion of chips or three.

Who even am I any more?


Overview of week one.

Surprisingly, I don’t miss meat in the slightest.

I MISS CHOCOLATE.

Although my work trousers still feel tight, I do feel much better already. It’s probably a placebo effect, but I genuinely do feel like I have more energy, and that I am less sluggish. I’m going to put that down to the fact I’m not eating my three meals a day and also looking for snacks to tide me over between meals. My dinners aren’t as ‘stodgy’, and when I get my mid-morning / mid-afternoon slump at work, rather than using chocolate to persuade me to get through the task I’d been slumped over, I’m drinking a lot more water or green tea to satiate my cravings.
Is it really bad I think I just like putting things in my mouth all day long? (Cue inappropriate laughter..)
Seriously though, I really should re-address the fact I just eat too much for a person who spends all day either sitting on the train or sitting at my desk.

Here’s to week two – I’m going to try and bake some sweet goods, wish me luck – here was my first attempt at vegan brownies and lemon cake…

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Jodifa

One Comment

  1. Actually lolling at this, and you made me hungry. Go Jodifa, you can do it!! X

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